Thursday, December 23, 2010

Open Those Eyes

Here's something I got from the blog 'Our Youth' - She's brilliant!

Here we go.

The people you know are retarded and don't know anything? And recently they started to listen to good music too? Well, try to ignore them. That's the only thing you can do. Trust me.
Write your parents a letter if they don't seem to understand what you want/think/say and you want them to know what you want/think/say.
Use condoms.

If you're a boy: a clitoris is not a Greek island.
''Preheat the oven before you put the roast in.'' Couuuugh. ''Ring the bell before you storm in.'' You know? Errr.
If you'd like to impress a girl make her a compliment she didn't hear before or at least doesn't hear that often (''Oh, I know it's going to sound odd but you have perfect ears and your face is so symmetric.'') I have no idea if this is going to work but try it and tell me if the girl liked it.
Don't date girls who want presents all the time.

If you're a girl: ''If you really love me, you'll sleep with me.'' Yeah, right. ''If you really love me, you will let me cut off your penis and feed it to my dog because I'm into stuff like that.'' Or wait, try this: ''If you really love me, you will wait until I'm ready for sex. Prick.''
''I'm allergic to condoms.''- ''I'm allergic to idiots. Bye. I've heard Zac Efron is single again. I'm off to America to stalk him until we get married.'' Oh well, I think there's latex or whatever in condoms but you can get latex-free condoms or whateeever, really. There will be a resolution for you two to, you know, mhmmm.

If you plan to get drunk and dance on tables, wear knickers.
Please put some clothes on. No need to walk around half naked.
Just because he had many girls, it doesn't mean he is a ''sex god''. It's more likely that he's a slag and you should better go for the kind of cute, sensitive Napoleon Dynamite-boy who's interested in astronomy.

If you think you're gay: perfect. Let's go to gay bars. I'll say you're my child and the bouncer will definitely let you in.

x x

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